For Dads, For Mums

11 Things Your Friend With Fertility Issues Doesn’t Want To Hear

things not to say to your infertile friend

There are over 10 million cases of infertility each year, around 45% couples face the problem of fertility and each year the problem of fertility is rising by around 10-20%. Thanks to our growing desire towards junk food and lack of exercise, which leads to several nutritional deficiencies and obesity.

Nutritional deficiencies have been linked to at least 50% of the infertility cases. Even obesity can lead to couples taking 50% more time to conceive than the ones who are healthy.

Still, we should remember that sometimes the problems of fertility are innate and it’s really difficult to find a solution. There are people around all of us who have been struggling to get pregnant, blaming themselves and crying inside to get past the fertility window.

There are some words which can hurt them, so you should be careful before offering any of your valuable comments.


You need to Relax/Calm Down.

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It was so easy for us to Get Pregnant. We always take extra precautions because we don’t want more babies.


Why don’t you try for adoption? There are lots of children who needs a new home.  

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Having children has made me a complete woman.


So, Is it because of you or the hubby?

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Maybe it’s nature’s way of telling you to Slow Down.


There are worse things that could happen.



You don’t take care of your health, it was bound to happen.


Maybe, the time is not right.

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You should be glad you don’t have to deal with [any parenting/pregnancy problem]


It will happen when it’s supposed to.


Some people think that talking about babies or their pregnancy will make their infertility friend sad. It actually won’t and if they do appear sad it’s not because they are not happy for you, it’s just because they feel sad about their condition. But to see you happy will make them happy too.

Offer them a lending ear and don’t ever advise them on what they should do or why it isn’t happening because of them. (Unless they ask for it). Be considerate and help them out by accompanying them to their appointments, spending more time with them so they are never lonely etc.  

Ask them what they need. Be supportive of their decisions. Act interested. Tell them you are always open to hear to them and help them. Just be KIND and you will probably not hurt anyone.

How did you deal with such a situation? Tell us in the Comments Section below.

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  • Reply Veronica (Working Like a Motha) 09/05/2017 at 9:42 pm

    I have a few friends that have got me through fertility struggles. Sometimes it’s hard to find the words to be supportive. Thanks for sharing.

  • Reply Susan Croox 09/05/2017 at 11:34 pm

    This is good. I confess sometimes I have suggested adoption, but it’s hard to know the right things to say. Having children is something it’s easy to take for granted.

  • Reply Liz F 10/05/2017 at 4:23 am

    As one who went through infertility I would have hated to hear all of those. In my case no one knew what I was going through except our parents. So I didn’t have to hear any of that. 😬

  • Reply Derika 10/05/2017 at 7:43 pm

    These don’t begin to scratch the surface of insensitive. And these people think they’re helping with their unsolicited advice! Pfft!

    Also the constant, “I want grandkids” or “when are you gonna have a baby” doesn’t help, either.

    • Reply admin 10/05/2017 at 8:59 pm

      Yess, there are tons of things which you should mind but these are some of the most common. People can be more insensitive. 😐

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