Miscarriage Rate in India is around 10 million per year. Sadly, it’s a more frequent occurrence that we are aware of. The rate of miscarriage in India for women in their 20’s is around 15-20%. In some cases, it has been predicted to be as higher as 30%. The recurrent rate of miscarriages is however low. And the chances of conceiving a baby after a miscarriage is around 85% and more. Here are some ways pregnancy after miscarriage is different. Your rainbow baby will be welcomed in a much different way.
A miscarriage is like a scar, it will never fully fade. It doesn’t matter how much time goes by, you would always feel sad for your loss.
Scary at Every Point
At every point, you would be scared of what’s going to happen next. Especially in the first trimester when the rate of miscarriage is high. And not to forget how each symptom would send you into a search frenzy on Google.
This rush of emotions will bring along some unwanted grief and stress.
Most new mums are much more worried but with mums who have had a miscarriage this feeling is mixed with being afraid and anxious. You may feel the urge to be extra careful of all the things you do and eat so as to avoid any potential harm to the baby.
Fear of Happiness
Some moms don’t believe that everything has gone by fine until they have held the baby in their hands and doctor has told them some ten times that both the baby’s health and your health is in good condition. Those feelings of joy, happiness that you have denied all the time during pregnancy will rush back all at the same time when you hold your little angel in your hands.
Fear of Bonding
Many women would try to fight their natural urges of maternal instinct and nesting instincts in the fear of suffering from another loss. In your last pregnancy, you were probably bonded with the baby right after you heard the news. You couldn’t help but started looking for cute baby stuff online, started imagining all the things you would do – but, this pregnancy it’s a little different.
Each and every moment is more covered by anxiety and fear and less so, by dreaming about the baby and happiness.
Don’t worry! You are not alone. A lot of mothers feel this way. There are moms who have gone through the same tragedy as you. You should try to find these communities of moms and you would soon realize, there are people who would not only understand but would be happy to support you throughout your journey.
You would be afraid at each and every point of time. Anything you eat or do, you would be thinking if that would be healthy for the baby and the pregnancy. This could really take a toll on you. But, you need to realize that there are things that are not under your control. You don’t have to take the blame for everything that goes wrong.
You would be afraid to share the good news on social media and close family and friends until you have hit the end of the first trimester. It sometimes takes even more than that too happily start sharing the results with everyone you possibly know. Some mums have already told that they were pregnant during last pregnancy before suffering from a miscarriage. And sharing the news of the loss is so much more difficult. Sometimes, if it’s on social media it’s even more difficult to inform all the people.
This secrecy can sometimes lead to loneliness too.
You are afraid to share the excitement and joy in the most heartfelt way possible. In the times, when support matters the most, you might be at your most vulnerable.
You are literally going to be jealous reading about moms experiencing symptoms such as morning sickness, back pain, frequent urination etc. Somehow this would be an assurance to you that your baby’s health and your pregnancy are headed in the right direction. You would desperately want these symptoms to develop. Just so you know that your baby is healthy and growing in a perfect manner. But, you need to realize that all pregnancies are different and you might not have the same symptoms as the one or two moms you are comparing yourself to. So, don’t worry unless your doctor is the one who tells you so.
Pangs of Conscience Hits Hard
It’s not an unusual thing for most moms to blame themselves for a miscarriage or anything wrong that happens with the baby. Most moms tend to go into depression and holds themselves liable for doing something wrong that made them lose the baby. Most of the miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities – meaning that the chromosomes are not set in a proper way to make a baby. Around 50% of the miscarriages are due to this reason. Having said that,
there is nothing you could have done to save your loss.
It’s easier said than done. But, feeling of self-assurance is really important too. Take your time to recover and grieve. And cherish the new life that’s growing inside of you now.
Pregnancy after a miscarriage can be a wreck. You might not be able to enjoy it as much as you would have if the loss wasn’t there. The innocence and happiness are in some way replaced by anxiety and fear. But, holding that beautiful rainbow baby would surely bring in the bliss and happiness back.
What was the emotion you struggled with most after your loss? Share your stories in the Comments section below or just send us an email, we can share it on the blog on your behalf or anonymously.